Saturday, March 29, 2008

NHL General Manager's Boot Camp - the Summer 2008 Edition

On the brink of the NHL playoffs, those teams that are shut out of the post season may well be thinking of the golf course when they should be pondering next season.

While the players may have a month or two to dally about the tee, the general managers have a much tougher row to hoe. Between tee times, business lunches, massages, and meetings with their financial advisors, GMs have to get down to the business of creating next year's Stanley Cup contender.

Good news, GMs! I have decided to make your jobs much easier this season by offering an intensive Boot Camp! Whether you are a seasoned veteran such as Holland or Sutter, or a fresh faced rookie like Hull, we've got a workshop for you, with lessons from your past and present compatriots!

(Don't worry about the tee times, either; as always, the event will be conveniently held in proximity of at least 7 world class golf courses. )

After a keynote address Friday evening by president Gary Bettman, a black tie cocktail party and schmooze session will be held in the hotel.

The tentative schedule is as follows:

1. Free Agents: Fierce or Freeloaders? by Wendell Clark and Ray Bourque

2. How to keep your team in the red and out of Canada by Gary Bettman, Bill Wirtz and Barry Shenkarow

3. Kids with Skills: Find them, keep them by Ray Shero and Kevin Lowe

4. How to run a profitable club and never win by Richard Peddie and the ghost of Harold Ballard

5. Shoestring Budget, Cup Contender by Lou Lamoriello

6. Winnning in the regular season means squat in the playoffs: A personal perspective by Marshall Johnston

7. Dumb Trades and how to avoid them by Bob Gainey and Daryl Sutter

Don't delay, book your spaces now!

Oh, unless you happen to be Cliff Fletcher, Dave Nonis, Jay Feaster, Garth Snow, or Dean Lombardi. Your spots are already reserved, and attendance is mandatory.

2 comments:

targetthyself said...

Very nice, the one I'd attend is Lou's workshop so he can tell me. "uhhh... find Marty..... you don't need to much else. Maybe a Zach Parise or too, but just remember everyone sucks other than Marty, pay them accordingly.

Abby said...

Too true. When you have the best goalie in the world, why spend money on any other players? Just teach them the trap and let the Cups come.

Although Stevens may have had something to do with several of them.