Ten easy ways to freak out your co-workers

I’m not a fan of working in offices. Offices, regular hours, cubicles…all these things eat my soul.

Sometimes, though, I have to suck it up and work in an office. I decided that if I had to be there, the least I could do is spice things up a little.

1. Here are some of my tried and true office entertainment options:

2. Pick a word (or a co-worker’s name). Whenever you hear the word, cluck like a chicken. Loudly. Look confused if questioned about your actions.

3. Do cartwheels down the hall. A warning: only perform this if you are wearing pants and/or underwear. Make sure your shirt is tucked in. Unless, of course, you’re going for a dramatic effect.

4. Write for the entire day in yellow highlighter. Refuse to type anything.
Instead of talking, sing all your words, as off-key as you can, for the entire day.

5. Wear a cape. Insist that EMR is interfering with your superpowers, and try to throw all electric appliances out the window. Cry when you are stopped, and scream, “foiled again!”

6. Begin a conversation with an inanimate object in the office. Build a relationship over a few days, Have a loud and violent breakup.

7. Eat everything through a straw.

8. Install a backup beeper on your chair. Alternatively, make the beeping noise yourself.

9. Set every clock (including all computer clocks) ahead by a half hour. Watch hilarity ensue.

10. Buy duct tape. Lots of it. There are endless things you can do with it…tape down people’s stuff, tape down people, suspend things from the ceiling, wear it…

Okay, so my list is pretty lame. I don’t want to let you know the really good stuff, because it would spoil the rest of the winter for my co-workers. So use your own imagination, and stop copying me!