Hey politicians: do something useful!

In the past few weeks, I've received emails from every major and minor political party, David Suzuki, Greenpeace, Avaaz.org, and a couple more. Now before my contact list starts to impress you, realize that I subscribe to most of these organizations so I can mock them here.

And mock them I will. Outside of the Conservatives, all of the emails were urging me to support the NDP-Liberal takeover attempt. How can I do that? Well I can sign their nifty petitions (which puts me on their mail out lists, sneaky sneaky) or give them money. Mostly, it was about money.

But last week is over. The Governor General has suspended Parliament, and we have to wait until January to see how the government will fall.

Did you notice my use of the word "how" and not "if"? Well go back and read it again then, sentence skimmer. The current government will fall. That is a given. Why?

Because none of the parties understand how a minority government works. The way they understand it, it doesn't.

I'd like to ask our politicians to take this time they've been given to learn how to do something useful--such as governing our country.

The economy is unstable. People are concerned. We're tired of elections, we're tired of infighting, we're tired of dilly dallying. Put aside your petty party prejudices, roll up your sleeves, and work together to find better answers.

If that means the Conservatives and the Bloc get together to hammer out an economic plan, so be it. If the Liberals and the Tories sit down to work something out, great.

In a minority, someone has to play nice with at least one other party, or it's back to the polls we go.

So it's my suggestion that Harper's government start looking for playmates instead of trying to bankrupt, bully, and beat up the opposition. It's time to crawl into bed with the corrupt and disorganized Liberals, the socialists, or the separatists, Steve. Pick your poison.

If it all gets to be too much, just close your eyes and think of Canada.

Harper, Williams Displaying Symptoms of Conservative Foot in Mouth Disease

Unless you've been living under a rock (or possibly in Toronto) you have heard that Danny Williams, premier of Newfoundland and Labrador, does not like Stephen Harper. I'm not sure "Steve" is all too fond of Danny, either.

For those of you emerging from under the rock (no Newfoundland puns intended) the storyline goes something like this:

Newfoundland finds lots of oil. Newfoundland makes plans to develop oil. Suddenly their economic outlook brightens.
Ontario and Quebec take economic hits in manufacturing. Western provinces are booming as usual.
The Maritime provinces remain in their constant precarious state (the culture of defeat, according to Harper).
Earlier this year, Harper decides to revamp the equalization payment formula to reflect the changes noted above. Danny doesn't like it.

I can understand how Williams feels. After years of barely keeping her head out of the water, Newfoundland and Labrador was set for a substantial financial windfall. Time to pay off some of that crippling debt, do a little infrastructure work, and hey, maybe even have a little fun. I feel the same way when I look at the opening line of my income tax statement.

Of course, I can see the other side of the coin as well. The old debate about have/have not provinces has been kicked, beaten, flogged, buried, exhumed, beaten some more, and re-buried more times than I can count. More importantly, federal transfer payments aren't really an issue in this election. Well, except to Danny Williams.

Part of me finds this personal vendetta amusing, but overall I think it's damaging, particularly to the Conservative party. Danny Williams may be a conservative provincially but he was, until he started this mess, a frontrunner to follow Harper as leader of the federal Conservatives. Maritimers like him, and a great number of former Maritimers now living in western Canada like him as well. Standing up to Harper brought him positive attention on a national scale in March. He knows how to make money, he knows how to speak, and he knows how to make enemies.

This current ABC campaign is anything but positive. Not only does it foster the deep rifts separating Canada's diverse regions, it has the potential to cause rifts among Conservative supporters.

The only reason Stephen Harper was able to form a minority government (outside of the best Liberal attempts to bury themselves in scandal) was the joining of the Canadian Alliance and PC parties. If the NDP, Liberals, and Greens were one party, they would hold a majority. The numbers are simple. What Williams is doing might separate that successful union.

Who knows? Maybe that is exactly what Williams intends to do. Perhaps he wants the Reform Party to head west on a wagon train and take the reins of the PC movement into his own hands.

All I can hope is that he knows what he is doing, because he is standing on very thin ice.

It would take an act of God to get Harper in the Maritimes...

In the world of Stephen Harper, the Maritime provinces are hapless victims of their own attitudes.

"There's unfortunately a view of too many people in Atlantic Canada that it's only through government favours that there's going to be economic progress, or that's what you look to... That kind of can't-do attitude is a problem in this country but it's obviously more serious in regions that have had have-not status for a long time." (Toronto Sun, May 31, 2002)

Visiting these have-not, hand-perpetually-out-begging provinces is therefore very low on the Prime Minister's priority list. Any visits made by the PM are usually short, perfunctory events, where you can be sure he has a list of names for all the provincial politicians. Except, of course, for Danny Williams, of whom the PM is acutely aware for job security reasons.

The headlines this morning, then, announcing Harper's planned visit to flood-ravaged sections of New Brunswick prompted my eyebrows to skyrocket. I wasn't even sure if Harper knew where New Brunswick was.

Perhaps, in a gesture of true generosity toward we pessimistic Maritimers, he'll announce federal flood relief funding. I do have to give the man credit. He really doesn't like the eastern section of the country. Dollars to donuts he has a deal with the US to sell us all to Maine should Quebec succeed with separation.

However, push has come to shove, and when disaster strikes, Stephen Harper likes to be there to pick up the pieces. From pulling together a fractious party to reassembling the country after years of mismanagement, Harper likes to see himself as a man who makes things work.

Unless Alberta decides to form its own nation. If a butcher is required to chop Canada into regions, I'm sure Harper has a cleaver at hand and divisions in mind.

Welcome to NB, Prime Minister. Home of friendly, hard-working, struggling Canadians who need your help in the face of a natural disaster. You'll probably hear more jokes this afternoon than you hear in a year in Ottawa. That's because Maritimers have a unique ability to persevere through adverse conditions through teamwork, diligence, and humour. You'll be hard pressed to find a defeatist attitude today.

If the feds can call in the army whenever it snows in Toronto, surely they can help those of us who can't help ourselves in times of true need.

More to come, once I remove my tongue from cheek.