Since the federal government is in the process of reclassifying 16 Canadian lakes as toxic tailings dumps as a favour to mining companies, I thought I'd get in on the action.
No, I don't want to be a miner. I don't particularly want to join the uproar of the environmentalists either (though I do agree with them.)
I want to use obscure laws and facts to reclassify things to suit my own immediate needs. Hell, I don't need laws. It might involve whims instead of needs, too. I just don't want to miss out on all this fun.
Let's start with...
Stephen Harper: You've been re-classified as a robot. Come on, it's not like we all don't know it anyway. Time to come out of the closet and admit you're a droid.
Jack Layton: New official title is Court Jester.
Stephane Dion: I'd re-classify him, but I don't think anyone would care. Or notice.
The Toronto Maple Leafs: I've re-classified you as an OHL team. Odds are, you'll still end up at the bottom of the league.
The saleslady in the store who helped me today: You are officially re-classified as my personal shopper. Dress or undress as you see fit.
My dog: Canada's newest Prime Minister. She may use the great outdoors as a toilet, but she certainly has more respect for it than the Conservative minority.
Mark Steyn: New head of the Canadian Human Rights Commission.
Don't agree with some of my work? Join the club. I don't know one person who would agree that using an unlined, uncontrolled natural watercourse as a toxic sludge pond is a great idea.
But hey, it's not like the government actually has to listen to the cares of the general public. That only happens in a democracy, not in a Steveocracy.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
It's a lake! No, it's a tailings pond!
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1 comment:
Hi Abby,
I caught your post about Canadian lakes being turned into dumps and I
thought I'd drop you a line. My name is Thom Duggan and I'm one of the many Canadians working to end this backward plan. So, I just wanted to say hi and thank you, for one.
One of the ways we're going to be trying to keep Canadians involved
and informed on this issue is though the blogging circles in Canada.
I'd like it if you'd agree to join our "blogcorps". It's mostly just a
special list that we'd keep of bloggers, like yourself, who would like
updates and alerts about the issue from time to time (no
coverage-obligation, of course). Some bloggers have signaled that they
want to get involved more deeply in the campaign, and that's great
too.
If you'd like some background information even now on the issue, I can
send you a few things. Or if you'd like to get in touch with someone
from the campaign, either nationally or in your general area, we'll be
able to do that stuff, too (we have a webpage coming soon that will
bring local citizens, bloggers, scientists, and activists
together...more on that later).
We've been blown away by the response online; thanks for being a part
of that. Would you like to receive updates from us on this in the
future?
Thom Duggan
Coalition to Stop Lake Dumping
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