Staggering Astronauts

According to internal NASA studies, no flight crew member has been seen drinking or intoxicated on a launch day, or on the days leading up to a launch. However, the astronaut code of conduct is being rewritten, spurred by these accusations and the diaper-wearing escapades of a certain unstable employee.

Personally, I would cut the astronauts a little slack. After all, a "shot of courage" might help them get through the whole process.

Imagine spending your entire life in school, in a lab, or in the gym. Most of the people you meet or work with are a bunch of math and science loving geeks trying their hardest to be better than you. Being a math and science loving geek myself, I'd like to say we're a very entertaining crew, but our social skills are more than a little rusty.

Now, imagine you are chosen to finally live your dream of floating about in space. All your life, you've been training for this moment. Suddenly, a couple of days before it happens, you get a little stressed. I sympathize completely. My adrenaline starts pumping before my rent is due. I shudder to think of how I would react to the knowledge I was leaving my entire world behind. There is always that pesky question once a dream is fulfilled, as well. "Okay, now what?"

NASA has been plagued with delays, accidents, snafus, and ridicule for the past ten years or so. The whole Mars exploration debacle, faulty telescopes, exploding shuttles...what was once the pride of a nation is now generally an afterthought and an embarrassment (except when it comes to putting really cool weapons in space-but that's a whole other story, maybe for later today).

"Did you know we are sitting on 2 million gallons of fuel, a nuclear weapon and a thing with 270,000 loose parts that was built by the lowest bidder. Kinda makes you feel good don't it?" Rockhound, Armageddon.

With those sort of things floating through my mind a shot of Glenfiddich or seven start looking like a good idea.