What Does Stephen Harper Fear?

Stephen Harper has called an election and by all accounts, he plans to come out swinging.

What is he afraid of? The Liberals are in disarray and no other party really has a chance at forming a majority. Why is Harper in such a hurry to call an election?

Two words.

Barack Obama.

So Long, David Emerson

Conservative cabinet minister David Emerson has announced he will not run in the expected election this fall.

Emerson made headlines when he crossed the floor to the Conservatives almost immediately after the last election. His riding was in an uproar, and to their credit, they haven't let him get away with it. Wandering through the streets of his Vancouver neighbourhood, you will still find signs of protest, demanding resignation or a by-election.

Unlike other famous floor crossers who manage re-election, such as Belinda Stronach, Emerson has no chance of winning his riding. He knows it, his constituents know it, and they've told him in no uncertain terms he'll be out of a job if an election is called.

It's a shame, really, that all this party foolishness pushes decent politicians out of office. Now, I'm not saying he was an outstanding politician--he did break the trust of those who chose him--but he definitely wasn't the worst, either. If only politics didn't keep good people out of politics.

Emerson is one of three cabinet ministers that will not be running for re-election. In any other government, that might be a big deal, but I can't even say I've heard or seen the other two cabinet ministers mentioned. In fact, Emerson, Maxime Bernier, John Baird, and Peter McKay are the only three cabinet ministers I can readily name, and two of those are only because of scandal. Baird I know because, well, if I could hit him with a dose of reality, I would. On the other hand, I can readily name opposition critics to each ministry, as they are actually allowed to speak to the media. That says something about the media dictatorship of Stephen Harper.

So goodbye, Mr. Emerson. I hope you enjoy your retirement in Vancouver, as the Olympics approach and the city works itself into a frenzy. Kudos to you for stepping down, and kudos to your constituents for demanding some semblance of honesty from their representatives.

Rejected by the CBC

Once again I am faced with a bitter letter of rejection.

One of the bigger buzzes in the Canadian music/hockey fan scene these days is a CBC (Canadian Broadcast Corporation) contest. CBC has invited any and all Canadians to submit their songs for selection as the new Hockey Night in Canada theme song.

Hockey Night in Canada is a Saturday night Canadian institution. Its theme, a professional instrumental piece written by a jingle writer many years ago, can be sung or hummed more accurately by Canadians of all ages than our own national anthem. The CBC decided against renewing its agreement with the composer earlier this year, which paved the way for purchase by another network. TSN plans on using the theme during its weekly game coverage.

Call it a bold move. Call it a waste of money. Whatever you call it, this is also a chance for hockey loving musicians and amateurs alike to try their hand at composition. It also may spell the death of Nickelback’s bastardization of “Saturday Night” that CBC has been playing for far too long. Thank God.

CBC was unprepared for the response. They’ve been swamped by entries from every day Joe Canadians to Randy Bachman. (If you don’t know who Randy Bachman is, then I shake my head at you.) Fans can preview anthems on the CBC contest website and offer advice and comments.

As an avid hockey fan, I thought it would be fun to write a song, but I’m not a composer or an instrumentalist. A successful brand is very unlikely to have lyrics, so I didn’t write anything. However, I entered one of my songs just for kicks.

Called “Toe to Toe,” it’s a racy song about a woman beckoning a man to come and play, with lots of hockey innuendo. I’m a big fan of innuendo. I knew the song had no chance of selection, but I thought I’d put it out there and see what response came in.

The response came in to my inbox not twenty minutes after I uploaded the song. “Your Anthem has been denied” read the subject line of the email.

So once again I have been rejected. While I’m not surprised, I’m a little disappointed that CBC wouldn’t even post it. As for the lyrics, well, I listened to two people having sex on a CBC radio drama at eleven in the morning this summer, so what’s a little innuendo on a website?

Given the quality of many anthem entries, I pity the selection committee.

I will put up the song on my MySpace site, www.myspace.com/abbypond, if you’d like to hear it. If you like it as much as I do, you can purchase my CD or download the song at cd.baby.com/cd/abbypond.

You can smell election in the air...

The Governor General, Michalle Jean, has been asked by the Prime Minister to stay close to home. Hey, if Stephen didn’t get to go to the Olympics, why should Ms. Jean get to attend the Paralympics?

Okay, Mr. Harper isn’t trying to be petty. He probably didn’t even want to attend the Games in the first place. And wasn’t it nice of him to let poor David Emerson take a nice trip before he loses his cabinet post, his seat, and the whole nine yards? Yes folks, Mr. Harper is going to call an election. The smell of mud flying through the air mingles with the squash soup, the fresh corn, and the new potatoes. He can’t let the Americans have all the fun. Scathing radio ads are already on the air here in the Maritimes.

Jack Layton is rubbing his hands with glee. Then again, Jack Layton rubs his hands with glee when he gets junk mail. He may believe many disillusioned Liberals are planning to swing their support his way. Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s going to happen on a scale that will make a difference.

An election call from the Conservatives, in direct opposition to their own legislation, may mean several things. Mr. Harper might be tired of playing games, believe he can win a majority, has the Liberals in a choke hold, and wants to sort it all out before a Democratic president is elected stateside. Mr. Harper may feel his support slipping through unpopular cuts, a slowing economy, and growing Afghanistan causalities, so he called the race now in order to head off further losses, remain a minority, and extend his time in control. Or perhaps he just likes seeing Stephane Dion running around in crisis mode.

Perhaps his methodical chopping of arts funding is the next step in the eventual robot takeover of our planet. We may never know.

It has been made abundantly clear that the ruling government, while a minority in numbers, rules as a majority. The Liberals protest, but do not vote because they are afraid of their own shadows; the NDP bray as they will, but lack the power to force change without the support of either the Bloc or the Grits. The Bloc protests as well, trying to form alliances, but who wants to be seen in bed with the separatists? That’s such a Conservative thing to do.

I would mention Stephane Dion, but I’m not entirely sure where he is. Oh yes, he’s mad at the Conservatives for breaking their own rules, the public’s trust. Then there’s that whole advertising scandal. Tsk tsk. I hear the pot calling the kettle somewhere.

So don’t be disappointed, Ms. Jean. Our athletes are strong, ready, and will most likely bring home more medals than were garnered during the first Olympic round. And what could be more entertaining than a three ring circus in your very own backyard?

English idiosyncracies that fascinate my Canadian brain

While I was waiting for my recent travel photos and blog post to upload, I began idly sorting a pile of British coins into a tower by size.

As a North American, I'm accustomed to this coin size progression, from large to small:
Two dollar, one dollar, fifty cent piece (rarely seen), quarter or twenty-five cents, nickel or five cents, penny, and dime or ten cents. Don't ask me why the dime is smaller than the penny or the nickel, but Canadians and Americans both do it that way.

Considering that Canada and the US were once British colonies, I would have assumed that our coinage stacked up comparatively. Obviously it doesn't, since I am writing here.

My little stack of English coins, from largest to smallest, is as follows: Two pound (which looks suspiciously like a loonie, but we started minting them a year earlier, so ha!), fifty pence (an odd seven sided thing), two pence (like two pennies, only really big), ten pence (the size of a Canadian quarter), twenty pence (also seven sided), one pound (twice as thick as any of the others), and one penny.

For those of you unfamiliar with British pound, one pound is 100 pence. One British pound, in the current market, is worth about $2.20 Canadian.

But let's get back to the silly arrangement of size. How can a one pound coin, the second most valuable coin in circulation, be so small? And heavy, for that matter. If you think a handful of loonies and toonies weigh you down, try these suckers! I really don't get the two pence coin, either. Why two? Most other systems use multiples of five or ten. Makes sense to me, but the British are big on tradition.

If a certain monarch decided that something needed to happen a certain way, then I guess that is how it will go, from here unto eternity. If you want to know the exceedingly tedious details of how each coin came to be, check out the link I've included.

If you are a serious coin collector, then I suppose all this history might be interesting. For me, the most interesting part will be the destruction of my tower. I will then go to the corner store and buy beer with it, crack it open and drink it while walking down the street. Why? Because in London, I can.