State of the Canadian Health Care System

I'd love to rant and rave about the health care system, but I'm not up to it.

I'm sick.

I had to go to the emergency room here in town (where there is no doctor actually at the hospital). I didn't get to see a doctor, but the nurse talked to one on the phone.

I also found out that the clinic here in town has been treating me for a chronic problem with strong antibiotics after I have continually tested negative for the condition. Last count, it was four rounds of unnecessary antibiotics. You would think that a doctor would go, "hmm...something's not right...."

So tomorrow, I get to go back to the clinic and demand to see a doctor. The ER nurse was furious they wouldn't let me make an appointment earlier in the day. She told me that if I couldn't get in to call her and she'd raise hell.

Pretty pathetic, I think.

I didn't set out to go to the emergency room. I tried to make an appointment to see my doctor at the clinic. For an acute problem, I was offered an appointment two weeks from today. Wow. Now that's service.

I said I couldn't wait that long, I was uncomfortable and getting worse. Second option? Go in tomorrow and see the "on call" doctor, who handles walk-in cases. If he or she has the time.

Well, that's what I have had to do for the last year and a half. That's why no one has checked my test results, or forwarded the information on to me that something is wrong. Every time I go in, I see a different doctor. They send me home with the obvious treatment, and don't follow up on the tests they order. I had a four month wait TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT for my yearly exam and tests, which they eventually cancelled on me anyway.

Seems I did have enough energy to rant, eh?

Where does that leave me? Worried, at home, in pain, and no closer to an answer. Worst of all, I have no idea when I'll have an answer.

Ten easy ways to freak out your co-workers

I’m not a fan of working in offices. Offices, regular hours, cubicles…all these things eat my soul.

Sometimes, though, I have to suck it up and work in an office. I decided that if I had to be there, the least I could do is spice things up a little.

1. Here are some of my tried and true office entertainment options:

2. Pick a word (or a co-worker’s name). Whenever you hear the word, cluck like a chicken. Loudly. Look confused if questioned about your actions.

3. Do cartwheels down the hall. A warning: only perform this if you are wearing pants and/or underwear. Make sure your shirt is tucked in. Unless, of course, you’re going for a dramatic effect.

4. Write for the entire day in yellow highlighter. Refuse to type anything.
Instead of talking, sing all your words, as off-key as you can, for the entire day.

5. Wear a cape. Insist that EMR is interfering with your superpowers, and try to throw all electric appliances out the window. Cry when you are stopped, and scream, “foiled again!”

6. Begin a conversation with an inanimate object in the office. Build a relationship over a few days, Have a loud and violent breakup.

7. Eat everything through a straw.

8. Install a backup beeper on your chair. Alternatively, make the beeping noise yourself.

9. Set every clock (including all computer clocks) ahead by a half hour. Watch hilarity ensue.

10. Buy duct tape. Lots of it. There are endless things you can do with it…tape down people’s stuff, tape down people, suspend things from the ceiling, wear it…

Okay, so my list is pretty lame. I don’t want to let you know the really good stuff, because it would spoil the rest of the winter for my co-workers. So use your own imagination, and stop copying me!

Virus and blood-a conversation in my head

Earlier today, I staged an imaginary conversation between a virus and a white blood cell. All in my head, mind you, so my co-workers didn't freak out.

And yes, biologists do this all the time. At least, I think they do. I can't account for all of them, but the ones I attended university with are just as batty as I. It's a great form of entertainment when faced with monotony.

I chose these two cells, in a setting of the human bloodstream, because of a rampant cold virus running amok in our office. It seemed appropriate.

Just a note about italics. If it's in italics, it's a sound effect, so make the noise inside your head. Or out loud, I really don't care.

Here's a sample of how it went:
Vroooom! (the virus cell goes speeding through a cellular stop sign, somewhere near the bronchial tubes)
White blood cell (whose name is Phil): Stop! Who are you?
Scrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeaaak. (virus skids to a stop).
Virus (whose name is Kayos): Sorry, sir. I didn't realize there was a stop sign there.
Phil (floating closer): I don't think I know you. You aren't from around here, are you?
Kayos: Uh, yeah I am. I just look a little different today. I've been feeling under the weather. There's a gang of bad guys around, gave me a rough time the other day up by the epiglottis.
Phil (giving him the suspicious eye): I'm certain I haven't seen you around before. Anyone around that can vouch for you?
Kayos (getting edgy): Uh, well, it's no so crowded today, I don't see any of my friends....(hits the gas and peels away through the plasma)
Phil: That little bastard! (takes off after him at high speed)...

There was much more, involving back up T cells, a breakdown scene, and deep philosophical discussion during the trial of the virus, "really, how can you punish me for doing that which I was created to do?" etc. etc.

Sometimes I wish I could stand watching the SuperBowl, so my Sundays wouldn't end up like this.

Happy Brown Hug Day

You will find no links to this holiday, because it exists only in my mind.

During my first year at Queen's, I became fast friends with another Maritimer who lived on my floor. Anyone who not only participates in my childish antics, but does me one better, is a friend for life.

I was the small town overachieving white kid; she was the Newfie Muslim. What a combination were we! Our best creation, which lives on to this day, is Brown Hug Day.

My friend explained to me that, when she was very small, she thought that "Groundhog Day" was Brown Hug Day. On this day, all the white people would show their appreciation for their brown friends and give them hugs.

Isn't that awesome? I thought so. The more I thought about it, the more I liked it. We started spreading the word amongst our friends and families. We hugged everyone we knew, and demanded hugs from others. Many people shook their heads at us; the vast majority, however, smiled.

No matter what colour you happen to be, take a moment today to say, "Happy Brown Hug Day" to someone you know. It doesn't even matter if they are brown. Random hugs are an endangered service in this impersonal world of ours.

It's corny, it's silly, and it's right up my alley.

Happy Brown Hug Day!

Don't like snow? Why are you here, then?

This one is short and sour instead of sweet.

Today, wandering around my not-so-redneck mountain town, I ran into two older gentlemen talking about the weather. Having nothing better to do, I eavesdropped as I cautiously followed them down the rutted, icy sidewalk.

First, they complained about the frigid temperatures of last week. Then, they started in on how much snow we had, how more was on the way, how the last two years were too much shoveling, etc. etc. I happen to know that both of them have lived in this town their entire lives, and have the financial means to move elsewhere.

If you don't like it, why don't you move? Obviously these men know that they live in a town that sits in one of the snowiest places on the planet.

I'm of the opinion (for today anyway) that if you don't like something, be constructive and use your energy to change it. Don't waste my time and your energy complaining about something you cannot change. The only thing you can change is your location.

That's all I have to say about that.